Yep, you heard me….Anxiety is real. This is coming from a 43-year-old wife, mom to one biological son, two stepsons, and 4 dogs.
OH yeah, also a taxi cab driver who drives her son to school one hour each way, a business owner who lives by deadlines and customer satisfaction. My (just over a year) marriage where my PRIORITY is being who I need to be for my husband and us to have the most abundant and successful marriage, and the first year after resigning from being in education teaching for 21 years. Also, just now going to therapy and having my son go through it as well.
People have told me for YEARS that therapy would help me, and I ignored them, thinking….. HOW IN THE WORLD WOULD THERAPY HELP WHAT I’VE BEEN THROUGH??
You know, all of this is …..NO BIG DEAL!
Things that bring me anxiety:
- Failing
- Not feeling worthy.
- The mental health of all that I love AND MYSELF
- Storms
5. Driving to and from unknown places
6. And my list could literally go on quite a bit longer.
Therapy:
Well, I do have to admit that after going to my phenomenal therapist for a few months now, I can truly say that one of the “traumas” that I have gone through during my life has been dealt with…I have closure….and it feels like such a weight has been lifted.
However, the #2 trauma that we are about to start dealing with head-on THIS week is one that absolutely no one knew about BUT myself for over 23 years. I had learned to stuff it down deep inside and push it out of my memory to the best of my ability. When it came to the surface, it felt like a tsunami of feelings were roaring inside of me. I couldn’t show it. Act on it. Let anyone know…until I had NO choice, and then I just recently told Ronnie and a FEW others.
This stage of therapy is going to stink. Period. No if, ands, or buts, about it…..It will be awful. However, I truly believe that therapy and my faith will get me through it, and I will come out on top in the end. It’s going to be so very difficult…I will want to be alone for much of the healing process, as it may affect other people. In the long run, I know in my heart that it will lead me to be a better person.
My son:
I also have a son who deals with paralyzing anxiety. Thoughts go through his head that most other 12-year-olds never have to deal with. He has deep empathy towards others, which can be a fault instead of a good thing. He wants EVERYONE to be happy at all times, no one’s feelings to be hurt ever, and worries about school shootings, me dying in a car crash, dogs that don’t have homes during a thunderstorm, or if one of his teachers is going to raise their voice at him CONSTANTLY.
Working with him through his own journey with anxiety has caused me to really put an effort into not showing any anxious feelings in front of him.
Sometimes, “momming” is difficult, but the intent and effort are always 100% pure. I consider anything that I can help my sweet son go through a privilege. He’s my priority and joy.
Blessings throughout it ALL:
I have quickly realized that you can’t ignore the blessings that also come with the journey! And boy, have I been blessed in this current difficult journey of mine. My husband has been PHENOMENAL through it all. He has been patient and understanding, picks up where I leave off, and is my rock.
My business has taken off! I am getting to do what my heart desires daily. Yes, my passion, daily! What a dream come true!
I have had the privilege of working with some extraordinary individuals who are not only talented but also have a wealth of knowledge that I am learning from daily.
Some of these individuals will be lifelong companions and mentors. I’m working with publishers and best-selling authors. I’m an elementary teacher working with talented individuals who wrote half of the books I used to read to my class. WOW!
Talk about sunshine during a rainstorm!
With all of this being said…
The quote “Stop and smell the roses” seems so cheesy, BUT it is so true!
Whether you are a teacher dealing with ALL the things that the end of the school year brings…
A parent dealing with stressful situations at home or work…
a child realizing that summer is coming and that ONE face (their teacher) won’t be seen any longer….
STOP. Smell the roses.
Stop and count your blessings when going through trials, no matter how big or small.
Be thankful for them. I promise that it will help keep you grounded, appreciative, and in a better frame of mind. Anxiety is real, BUT blessings that are focused on makes it so much better to cope with.
2 cents from the “Bright Cookie” herself!
Love you guys!
