This blog post…

“Letters to my Son for the Future” has been one I have had the intention of writing for quite a while now. One that is from my heart and is so very special to me. Let me give you some background first though…

So far, this blog has been primarily teacher/education related.

However…

That wasn’t the initial intention for this blog.

I want it to be a blog about ALL the things.

From teacher/teaching related blogs… to blogs just about LIFE…blogs about being a mom, wife, step-mom.

Blogs about being a daughter, friend, a human being.

Blogs about things I have learned from experience.

Blogs about advice, my hope for the future, love, and feelings.

 

A “Blended Family” series I am working on…

 

So, with all of this being said…

I am going to start this blog. It’s raw. It’s emotional….but, it’s real.

 

Letters to my son….

For people that don’t know me. I lost my mom to breast cancer when she was 35….

and I was 14.

 

So many emotions truly come rushing back to my thoughts just from simply typing the above two sentences. Feelings of sadness, happiness, resentment, loneliness…feelings of regret, heartache, sorrow, and hope. 

In other words, at the age of 42…. 28 years later…. I still feel a whirlwind of emotions.

Details of the story…the good, the bad, the AMAZING, and the ugly….will be in a later post. But, for now…. I want to share something that I have done AND am doing for my precious 11 year old son, Griffin.

When you lose a parent so young, you realize a lot.

You regret so many things. You wish you could change a multitude of situations…You desire certain moments back just ONE more time so that you can make them right.

All of that is natural. Human. “Normal”.

There are SO many different times that you wish that you could have certain conversations.

Seek advice.

Hear their words.

SO…

One day I got this tugging feeling. A feeling that fresh chocolate chip cookies OR a shake from Chick-Fila couldn’t even take away. It hit me like a ton of bricks. Maybe it hit me because I  experienced the loss of a parent at such a young age.

Let me explain…

Being a Mama is such a critical job. A job that there is no “How TO” manual to read…a job that calls on you ANY time day or night. A job that can frustrate you, bring you OVERWHELMING JOY, and at times, worry.

Losing my mom at 14 made me miss out on MANY things that teenage girls (or rather teenagers/adults) desire to have their mom there for.

I want to do WHATEVER I can for Griffin, my sweet son, to feel a sense of comfort when those “things” come up.

So, I have started writing notes/letters to him JUST IN CASE I am not here one day for that “thing”. There are so many “things” if you think about it. 

 

Special occasions.

Emotions that will be so BIG in the moment.

Feelings or memories that will POP up when least expected. 

Sidenote: There are some people reading this that may be thinking…. “Um, that’s rather dark.” or “I just couldn’t do that, it would be too difficult.”

I 100% disagree!

Put yourself in your child(ren)’s place….and even in YOUR place if you have already dealt with the loss of one of your parents.

Wouldn’t YOU want a letter from your mom or dad after they are gone during a difficult time in life?
Wouldn’t you want a note from them to help you celebrate a BIG day?
Wouldn’t you LOVE to read the words from one of them on a day that you miss them more than you can put into words?

Now is it dark? Too difficult?

Nope.

If you can read the cards in the picture above, here are some of the notes that I have written so far:

  • Open when you first receive the cards…
  • When you are angry…
  • When you are about to make a tough decision…
  • When you are sad…
  • When you are happy…
  • When you feel anxious or worried…
  • When life is tough..
  • Girlfriend advice…
  • Open when it’s Valentine’s Day
  • When you miss me…
  • Open on the first time it’s my birthday, but I’m in Heaven- Open when it’s MY birthday, March 20
  • Open on your wedding day….. YOUR BIG DAY!
  • Open when you have just gotten married and want to get some wife advice from you mom.
  • Open when you and your wife first find out she’s pregnant
  • BIRTHDAYS: Open on your 21st,  30th,  40th,  50th

The options are ENDLESS.

Stop and think. How cool and meaningful would it be to get a 50th birthday card from your parent if they had passed 15 years before???

(Just an example)

Yes, I know that some of these cards will happen when I am happily living and spending these moments with Griffin. At that point, I would dispose of that particular card(s). However, I will continue to write them as I think of them, because you just never know.

I would give ANYTHING to have just one card from mom come in the mail or be handed to me right now.

At this time, I am going to share some private and RAW notes that I have written to my son….. JUST IN CASE “that” day comes and I’m not here to be there with/for him.

Here is the FRONT of the card that I want him to open on the first birthday of mine that comes once I’m in Heaven. Just so you get an idea of the types of words/things I say within these cards:

Here is another example of a card I wrote for a day that he feels sad: 

My last example, because as you can see…some of these are private.

When he needs girlfriend advice:

If you could take just one thing from this blog post, please take this:

Time is precious. You don’t know what tomorrow holds. Soak in EVERY POSSIBLE moment you can with your children and loved ones. Especially during the holidays. 

I also hope that you consider starting cards for your children. It is time WELL spent and will be cherished for the rest of their lives.

And yes, I will also get birthday cards for 60, 70, and 80. 🙂

Kristen Eason